There’s no obfuscated Perl contest because it’s pointless.
—Jeff Polk
XD XD XD!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Solace in strange places
How would anyone understand?
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." — Jaques (Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-166)
What's particularly frightening is that it actually is possible for a person to be completely detached. I hate having to mold myself into archetypes. One of the most important things a person must do is accept the self. But it is always difficult when there is no actual predecessor of some sort to draw experience on. I suppose for some people, it is quite easy to be able to look at another person and empathize with just that person. There is, however, a difficulty when there is just too much empathy to go around. "Not fitting in" is in and of itself a form of fitting in. But it's a special kind. For starters, it is much more difficult to conciliate. I know this is fairly typical of people who feel like outcasts, but what's particularly frightening is what happens when even then it's not enough. Of course, every person's life is unique; but some are more unique than others. Downward spirals.
When I look back at what I have done, there is a very strange ambiance. I wish I was normal.
Normal.
But it's too late now. Will I find someone that will share my experiences? Is that even possible?
I've tried, but I don't find it likely. The idiosyncrasy is chilling. What I have noticed is that I can fit in, but it's always some sort of trade off. I can only tell some parts to some people. How that works is very much like a meat-grinder which has discrete settings which determine the size of the chunks.
I won't understand it; at least, not anytime soon. The specifics will fade away. Nothing will be left except for a dark aura of myth.
When I open a history book, I try to read between the lines. Yes, there is recorded history. I'm not concerned about that. I want to know the unrecorded. How did people actually live during those times? I recall a particular moment in a history classroom; we were studying 1920s american history. Our teacher told us to do a presentation where we had to use a specific set of slang terms from that era. While I can understand the core behind the project, it seemed so humiliatingly crude. Nobody from the 1920s talked the way our teacher expected us to talk. It is this sort of disconnect that makes people lose sight of humanity. I mean, who cares what happened a few years later? They were all a bunch of weirdos who used funny words.
Whereas how very different cultures view each other is testing, I particularly think it makes more sense to compare very similar cultures. For instance, I challenge Americans to open up a British history book. You won't find the "American Revolution" in there. You'll find the "American War of Independence". And because this sort of Weltanschauung divide is noticeable even among Anglophones, one can only truly appreciate the vast cultural gap when it comes to different languages and different countries! What I would like to know, however, is to what extent the nation or the language makes a difference. Would a French textbook from Francophone Canada be more similar to Anglophone Canada, or Francophone France?
But people don't want to ask these sorts of questions. It is much simpler to crudely reject all indications of cultural bias. Or even when such a cultural bias is acknowledged, can the extent really be esteemed?
I don't know whether to simply give up on my pursuit and admit that I won't be able to find a yâr, or to continue to hope that someday, somewhere, somehow there will be bright eyes staring right at me, perforating deep into my psyche.
But I doubt that will happen.
WEEGEE
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." — Jaques (Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-166)
What's particularly frightening is that it actually is possible for a person to be completely detached. I hate having to mold myself into archetypes. One of the most important things a person must do is accept the self. But it is always difficult when there is no actual predecessor of some sort to draw experience on. I suppose for some people, it is quite easy to be able to look at another person and empathize with just that person. There is, however, a difficulty when there is just too much empathy to go around. "Not fitting in" is in and of itself a form of fitting in. But it's a special kind. For starters, it is much more difficult to conciliate. I know this is fairly typical of people who feel like outcasts, but what's particularly frightening is what happens when even then it's not enough. Of course, every person's life is unique; but some are more unique than others. Downward spirals.
When I look back at what I have done, there is a very strange ambiance. I wish I was normal.
Normal.
But it's too late now. Will I find someone that will share my experiences? Is that even possible?
I've tried, but I don't find it likely. The idiosyncrasy is chilling. What I have noticed is that I can fit in, but it's always some sort of trade off. I can only tell some parts to some people. How that works is very much like a meat-grinder which has discrete settings which determine the size of the chunks.
I won't understand it; at least, not anytime soon. The specifics will fade away. Nothing will be left except for a dark aura of myth.
When I open a history book, I try to read between the lines. Yes, there is recorded history. I'm not concerned about that. I want to know the unrecorded. How did people actually live during those times? I recall a particular moment in a history classroom; we were studying 1920s american history. Our teacher told us to do a presentation where we had to use a specific set of slang terms from that era. While I can understand the core behind the project, it seemed so humiliatingly crude. Nobody from the 1920s talked the way our teacher expected us to talk. It is this sort of disconnect that makes people lose sight of humanity. I mean, who cares what happened a few years later? They were all a bunch of weirdos who used funny words.
Whereas how very different cultures view each other is testing, I particularly think it makes more sense to compare very similar cultures. For instance, I challenge Americans to open up a British history book. You won't find the "American Revolution" in there. You'll find the "American War of Independence". And because this sort of Weltanschauung divide is noticeable even among Anglophones, one can only truly appreciate the vast cultural gap when it comes to different languages and different countries! What I would like to know, however, is to what extent the nation or the language makes a difference. Would a French textbook from Francophone Canada be more similar to Anglophone Canada, or Francophone France?
But people don't want to ask these sorts of questions. It is much simpler to crudely reject all indications of cultural bias. Or even when such a cultural bias is acknowledged, can the extent really be esteemed?
I don't know whether to simply give up on my pursuit and admit that I won't be able to find a yâr, or to continue to hope that someday, somewhere, somehow there will be bright eyes staring right at me, perforating deep into my psyche.
But I doubt that will happen.
WEEGEE
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Did someone say election coverage?
after a long hiatus, I'm back. I just wanted to be yet another voice on the Internet. So how is the election going?
Iowa
It was interesting there. On the Democratic side, this showed just how much support the 2nd tier candidates have. Kucinich et al got pwned, receiving less votes than "uncommitted". But what's interesting is the top three. Obama got first place, with Edwards second, and Clinton a close third. However, Clinton ultimately received more delegates than Edwards, and only one less than Obama. So while some may say that Obama won, anyone serious can clearly see that the primary is still open for those three candidates. But as a result of the media blitz, Obama's chances have been artificially increased.
The results on the Republican side were also interesting. Huckabee won, with the next person Romney, a distant second. But it is third place that is interesting: McCain, Thompson, and Paul were all head to head. Whereas on the democrats, only those top three have a chance of winning the primary, the Republicans seem to say that it is still completely open to all candidates, except for Hunter. Giuliani received less votes than Paul, which surprised many people.
Wyoming
Little known Wyoming is interesting. as of right now, Romney is leading with the most delegates there (6), followed by Hunter and Thompson (1 each). 57% of precincts. But does a candidate really want to be identified with the other dude from Wyoming (Dick Cheney)?
New Hampshire is where it's at. Stay tuned.
Iowa
It was interesting there. On the Democratic side, this showed just how much support the 2nd tier candidates have. Kucinich et al got pwned, receiving less votes than "uncommitted". But what's interesting is the top three. Obama got first place, with Edwards second, and Clinton a close third. However, Clinton ultimately received more delegates than Edwards, and only one less than Obama. So while some may say that Obama won, anyone serious can clearly see that the primary is still open for those three candidates. But as a result of the media blitz, Obama's chances have been artificially increased.
The results on the Republican side were also interesting. Huckabee won, with the next person Romney, a distant second. But it is third place that is interesting: McCain, Thompson, and Paul were all head to head. Whereas on the democrats, only those top three have a chance of winning the primary, the Republicans seem to say that it is still completely open to all candidates, except for Hunter. Giuliani received less votes than Paul, which surprised many people.
Wyoming
Little known Wyoming is interesting. as of right now, Romney is leading with the most delegates there (6), followed by Hunter and Thompson (1 each). 57% of precincts. But does a candidate really want to be identified with the other dude from Wyoming (Dick Cheney)?
New Hampshire is where it's at. Stay tuned.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Oh the places you will go!
Yeargh, 2nd year of college. So update from last time... let's see. I need moar MF itamz phor mah lvl 20 amazon lawlz... Anyways it's a bummer I can't play on bnet. Oh well, looks like legit gaming has the final word, once again =P.
I was going to write something about computer gaming, but I'm tired. Can't SLEEP. Ci begam, xâbidan vâsam saxte =P.
Anyways, I loved all my classes (notice past tense). But unfortunately some fucktards thought it would be funny to move a huge class from a big room to a small one. Not even the people that signed up for the class and paid for it had room to fit in, let alone me. So now I have to find some replacement class for psychology. Maybe if I take it next semester it won't be so popular?
Anyways I've looked at the late-start classes and they all look like shit. Ugh. Maybe I'll take that "Nature of Islam" class, lol. Yeah this girl that's the leader of the Muslim student association is kinda scaring me. I mean everytime I walk past her on the campus, I take a brisk stride try to avoid her but somehow she manages to drop the SALAAM bombs on me. And what can I do? Am I supposed to stop her and explain to her how I'm not a Muslim? Whatever, I just look right back and say SALAAM too. Fight fire with fire. But anyways, since this is a new year and a lot of my friends graduated, I'm like hey, might as well. I don't know what her motives are, but whatever I support them. She seems like a nice person =P.
In the Quran it talks about three different kinds of people in the world: believers, disbelievers, and hypocrites. Am I a hypocrite? I don't know. But I see nothing wrong with hiding my personal views from people who I know who would be incredibly hostile if I tell them the truth. Hence my recent confrontation with... eh never mind.
But how far does it go? Would I perform Salat? I probably would if I was peer pressured into it. It feels like a very subconscious thing to do. However immediately after it I would have no qualms with revealing my personal beliefs if someone simply asks. Ignorance is bliss. Which reminds me of a certain encounter at a McDonalds last year. I was on my lunch break at work, and I ordered a chicken salad at McDonalds. As I began to find a place to sit in order to eat, this woman came up to me out of nowhere. She seemed a bit nervous about it, but I felt bit of overconfidence coming from her. See, she was trying to witness to me. She gave me a pamphlet about how great that Jesus dude was. Now, normally I would just ignore her, but something about her compelled me to fake being a Christian. So I told her that yes, I was a believer and I accepted the Good News. But she was STILL determined to make a change in my persona, so she was asking me if I was a "true Christian". I laughed on the inside, but thankfully my conduct on the outside was nothing more than a warm smile, followed by saying "why yes, I read the Bible all the time." And of course from there she was asking me what kind of Christian I was. Was I Protestant like her, or what? This was another choice for me to make. But I wasn't sure what her denomination was, so I gave a vague answer quoting the Bible, saying "I'm the kind of Christian that follows the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, making a pitstop of John 3:16." And she accepted that answer. But she continued to press me. Where was I from? "Oh, I'm from Egypt". "And what's your name?" "Omid". "Oh, that sounds like and Egyptian name to me". "Yea, it's a Coptic name." "So you're Catholic? You know Catholics aren't real Christians according to the Bible..." "Nonono I'm a Coptic, totally different". "Oh okay. Are there a lot of Egyptians like you?" "Yup". "Oh that's great".
My lungs were about to explode from laughter. Mein Gott im Himmel was this woman a complete ignoramus. I tried to wrap things up:
"Well, nice meeting you. I'm on break from work right now, and I have to eat my lunch..." "Oh okay."
After she left, I quickly ate my food. Then when my break ended I went back and helped some people find shoes. But when I got home that night, I couldn't sleep. I was laughing to hard. Straight into my pillow. I mean come on, is it that easy to trick people? "Omid" isn't even an Egyptian name -_-. Oh well. I know without a doubt she targeted me because of that. She asked if I was a Muslim. Of course she didn't notice my salad had BACON in it.
Yeah, good laughs. It's so sad how there seems to be a negative correlation between knowledge of Christianity and the desire to "spread the word of Christ". I don't see William Lane Craig going door to door or witnessing to people at McDonalds, for Pete's sake.
Oh well. In short, yeah... college. Major fun. Good luck to me this year. =P
I was going to write something about computer gaming, but I'm tired. Can't SLEEP. Ci begam, xâbidan vâsam saxte =P.
Anyways, I loved all my classes (notice past tense). But unfortunately some fucktards thought it would be funny to move a huge class from a big room to a small one. Not even the people that signed up for the class and paid for it had room to fit in, let alone me. So now I have to find some replacement class for psychology. Maybe if I take it next semester it won't be so popular?
Anyways I've looked at the late-start classes and they all look like shit. Ugh. Maybe I'll take that "Nature of Islam" class, lol. Yeah this girl that's the leader of the Muslim student association is kinda scaring me. I mean everytime I walk past her on the campus, I take a brisk stride try to avoid her but somehow she manages to drop the SALAAM bombs on me. And what can I do? Am I supposed to stop her and explain to her how I'm not a Muslim? Whatever, I just look right back and say SALAAM too. Fight fire with fire. But anyways, since this is a new year and a lot of my friends graduated, I'm like hey, might as well. I don't know what her motives are, but whatever I support them. She seems like a nice person =P.
In the Quran it talks about three different kinds of people in the world: believers, disbelievers, and hypocrites. Am I a hypocrite? I don't know. But I see nothing wrong with hiding my personal views from people who I know who would be incredibly hostile if I tell them the truth. Hence my recent confrontation with... eh never mind.
But how far does it go? Would I perform Salat? I probably would if I was peer pressured into it. It feels like a very subconscious thing to do. However immediately after it I would have no qualms with revealing my personal beliefs if someone simply asks. Ignorance is bliss. Which reminds me of a certain encounter at a McDonalds last year. I was on my lunch break at work, and I ordered a chicken salad at McDonalds. As I began to find a place to sit in order to eat, this woman came up to me out of nowhere. She seemed a bit nervous about it, but I felt bit of overconfidence coming from her. See, she was trying to witness to me. She gave me a pamphlet about how great that Jesus dude was. Now, normally I would just ignore her, but something about her compelled me to fake being a Christian. So I told her that yes, I was a believer and I accepted the Good News. But she was STILL determined to make a change in my persona, so she was asking me if I was a "true Christian". I laughed on the inside, but thankfully my conduct on the outside was nothing more than a warm smile, followed by saying "why yes, I read the Bible all the time." And of course from there she was asking me what kind of Christian I was. Was I Protestant like her, or what? This was another choice for me to make. But I wasn't sure what her denomination was, so I gave a vague answer quoting the Bible, saying "I'm the kind of Christian that follows the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, making a pitstop of John 3:16." And she accepted that answer. But she continued to press me. Where was I from? "Oh, I'm from Egypt". "And what's your name?" "Omid". "Oh, that sounds like and Egyptian name to me". "Yea, it's a Coptic name." "So you're Catholic? You know Catholics aren't real Christians according to the Bible..." "Nonono I'm a Coptic, totally different". "Oh okay. Are there a lot of Egyptians like you?" "Yup". "Oh that's great".
My lungs were about to explode from laughter. Mein Gott im Himmel was this woman a complete ignoramus. I tried to wrap things up:
"Well, nice meeting you. I'm on break from work right now, and I have to eat my lunch..." "Oh okay."
After she left, I quickly ate my food. Then when my break ended I went back and helped some people find shoes. But when I got home that night, I couldn't sleep. I was laughing to hard. Straight into my pillow. I mean come on, is it that easy to trick people? "Omid" isn't even an Egyptian name -_-. Oh well. I know without a doubt she targeted me because of that. She asked if I was a Muslim. Of course she didn't notice my salad had BACON in it.
Yeah, good laughs. It's so sad how there seems to be a negative correlation between knowledge of Christianity and the desire to "spread the word of Christ". I don't see William Lane Craig going door to door or witnessing to people at McDonalds, for Pete's sake.
Oh well. In short, yeah... college. Major fun. Good luck to me this year. =P
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